You Say He's Just A Friend

“Oh baby you! Got what I need!” Okay, I’ll stop. Guys have lady friends who they’d like to bang, and I have a male friend (finally) who I’d like to bone, wet the monkey, slap the base, and take to the candy shop. Well…maybe that’s a bit exaggerated as well as inappropriate. Let’s scratch that and start again.

Girl meets Boy. Boy gives Girl his number. Girl uses it. They talk and talk, become best friends, and live happily ever after. Sounds like the perfect platonic scenario…but it actually sucks breast milk. DUDE, I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. (I mean this in the most nonaggressive, complimenting way just so you know) As much as I love making friends, I love making beaus even more. In other words, drop the “F” in BFF and give me what I want. I actually shouldn’t be complaining since I was just whining about having no homies, but now I have a homie and don’t want a homie. How paradoxically typical. I mean, yeah, I want a friend, a homie, and I’d really, really like a lover. (Whoops, getting a little personal again; sorry about that) It must be that cake metaphor.

I think several people from both genders can attest to crushing on a friend at least once. It’s by far the most awkward feeling and potentially the most awkward conversation the two of you will share if you dare to tackle it. So the question is: what do you do when you’re saying he’s just a friend, but you want more? Here are my three prescriptions for all you suffering from the friend-crush-pox.

1. Tell him!

Honestly, what harm can really come from telling your friend how you feel? After all, that’s what friends are for.  I mean, sure, he could get creeped out and go all ‘you want me and that ruins our friendship’ on your ass, true. But hey, you get it off your chest and he just may have the joneses for you too. It’s worth it to give it a shot.

2. Keep it to yourself

To avoid a tainted friendship due to your inability to keep the *whistle* in the box, don’t say anything. It’s better to have a friend who you think is cute hanging around than to be a lonely hermit. He just might not be that into you.

3. Play “hint and go seek”

A combination of 1. And 2., the saying ‘actions speak louder than words’ in this case holds true. You don’t want to tell him, and you don’t have to. But then there’s that little voice in your head telling you to not miss the potential opportunity to get your man! (as you should) Let your body do the talking. Send flirty texts, bat those lashes, touch his leg. He’ll pick up on your hints, and if he wants it, he’ll go get it. See? Hint and Seek.

So go for one of these options, and let me know how it works out. I’ll let you know for me ;-)