Things Men Want Women to Be...That Are Completely Unrealistic

We women know what we want. ‘Be romantic.’ ‘Tell me you love me.’ ‘Put the toilet seat down.’ And we rarely care what men want. You know, that ‘Hey I’m me, take it or leave it’ attitude. However, just as we have our list of desirable traits, so do men. Okay, maybe, they don’t write an actual list, but I digress. I’ve come across enough demanding bachelors to learn what several men may agree they’d like a woman to possess. Most of us don’t need to be rocket scientists to figure out what men want. (Come on, it’s not that difficult) But there are some desires that would make you go from a babe to a homey, lover, friend…despite how absurd they may be. If you’re ready to get a ring put on it, here are five things you need to figure out how to start doing or become.  

1. Be an NBA Live playing, Call of Duty banging, video gamer

Why any man after the age of 20 plays video games baffles me. Nonetheless, if you’re waiting in Game Stop to get that new FIFA 2012, you just might get asked out on a couple dates.

2. Live, breath, and get high off of ESPN

I’m a girl who likes sports. Hell, I even like to watch them every now and again. I don’t see why it’s critical to watch critiques on games, constant playbacks of game highlights, and every sports game on the planet. However, your boo loves ESPN and he wants you to too.

3. Throw down in the kitchen just like his mama

I understand that your mama ‘til this day can make an entire Thanksgiving feast in one afternoon, and it’s the best plate you’ve had all year, every year. That’s the same reason I love my mama too. But understand, your mama has had 10+ years of practice. Ladies, if you can make a glazed, juicy turkey from jump, you have his heart.

4. Not Have a Period

No tampons in the toilet. No pads in the garbage. No period panties. No PMS. No cramps. And sex on command. Yeah, it’d be nice if we didn’t have a period either. Blame Eve, not me. If you take that four periods a year pill, you’ll be much closer to putting on white than the rest of us. (No pun intended)

5. Be a freak-in-the-sheets virgin

Just like how the idea of our man having slept with dozens of women disgusts us, men want their wifey to have never been touched.  Yes, that’s right, a virgin…touched for the very first time. A La Perla wearing, reverse cowgirl riding, Jessica Rabbit virgin who likes to be choked, her hair pulled and her neck bit ONLY with him.

Either men need to get real or we women need to get with the program. What do you think?