Love's Paradox

Like a loud whisper, tangled in an ear,

Or a bright darkness, lingering in its shadow

The climb was ever steep, yet an inferior plateau

His gallantry was caught sleeping with fear;

His skin dry from the rainfall of tears

A Wise one, he was perceived as callow

Full with glee, yet overcome with sorrow

His seconds felt like lengthy years.

Trapped in conflict, rapping on his walls

Lost, running circles in his psyche

On the quest for the trap door, he did crawl

This burden’s weight held tightly;

His mind, with his heart—a brawl

Love’s prevail might we see.

The Men We All Want but Should Never Have

 

One day, I was surfing on one of my favorite blogs www.verysmartbrothas.com, and I stumbled upon an interesting post “Don’t Date Her Dude: Chicks Men Think They Want Until They Actually Get One,” and I was immediately intrigued. They listed the typical douche bags, but they left out a few key desirably undesirable men. There are a few guys that I’d love to spend the rest of my life with that I should in fact be running from—very fast. Below are the ones I'd add to the list:

The Sensitive Guy

Breakup after heartbreak after breakup, we women tend to seek the guy that promises he’ll take precious care of our heart. It’s in tender condition, and this is the one guy that seems to relate to our pain because he is in touch with his “feelings.” When you hurt, he hurts. When you cry, he cries. You emotionally feel as one with him…until he grows a vagina and starts menstruating. The sensitive man is really just the temperamental women with an Adam’s apple. Unless you want to take care of an emotional crybaby, stay clear away.

The Sean “Diddy Puff Daddy P. Diddy Puffy” Combs
This man seems like he has it all: confidence, a great career, and a walk-in closet. He will treat you like a queen. He’ll splurge on you. The problem? He's really just an egotistical duntz on a power trip who’ll—and this is a big no-no—never get married.

The Sex Machine
This man promises to be your sexual fantasies in the flesh. He has tricks that you’ve never read about and promises the big O every time. You may wake up with a broken back in a euphoric state, however this guy’s just going to turn out to be a pervert with no qualities beyond the surface that would make any woman find him stimulating—besides what his mouth can do.

The Mama's Boy
Women yearn for this kind of man. Why? He has the utmost respect for his mother, which in turn usually results in him having love and respect for us. He talks about how she’s his everything. He calls and makes sure she’s doing okay. He occasionally takes her out to lunch. Sounds like the perfect gentlemen. Truth is, you will be entering a polygamous relationship—one between you, him...and his mama.

The Trophy

Physically immaculate, The Trophy is the guy you bring home to your mother—and she passes out on the kitchen floor. Old women fan themselves when he walks by, young women wish he was on their arm, and men envy his magnetic pull on women. Everything on the outside is perfection when it comes to him. Unfortunately, he’s dumb as a rock and as boring as one too.

The Average Joe

You’ve messed with the moguls, the athletes, and the pretty boys, so what do you think is the answer? The Average Joe. He seems like a safe bet because he’s just that: safe. Average job. Average looks. Average goals. Average personality. You think you know what you’re getting with this guy. However, for every average guy there’s five average girls trying to steal him. Yes, ladies the Average Joe is a cheater too. A less attractive, quite boring cheater. Go figure.

Why We Women Love Men like Kanye West

While preteen white girls in states like Arkansas and Texas may still be cursing the blunt, flashy, Grammy-winning artist’s name over the public bashing of Taylor Swift at last year’s VMAs, Kanye West will always have a female fan base. Between his G.O.O.D. Friday releases every week this fall, his movie premiere of the overtly artistic Runaway, and his new appreciation for life after the death of his mother, Kanye is a pretty desirable man for a girl like me. Now yes, he’s not the sexiest lion in the hip-hop jungle, but Kanye has traits that cause him to lead the pack in front of the other obvious heartthrobs in the industry like Trey Songz, Chris Brown, etc. You may be asking, but why would you ever want a guy like Kanye? Well besides his wealthy status, Kanye has a great deal going for him. Even if you’re not a hip hop lover, here are ten reasons why Kanye just may be the one.

1.   Kanye challenges authority

Now usually this is not a trait we women look for in a man, but in Kanye’s case it’s quite appealing. He has spoken his mind in times when most men would sit back and let someone else. He grabs the mic and says what everyone else is thinking. Kanye challenged the President of the United States! If that’s not a man you want curling up to you late at night, then I don’t know who is.

2.   Kanye realizes confidence is key

Some may regard him as arrogant and unnecessarily boastful, but I just see Kanye as a confident guy. The only way you can become the best is if you truly believe that about yourself. And how has Kanye’s career turned out? Exactly.

3.   Kanye is not afraid to be himself

This is an especially difficult trait when in the public eye. Kanye, despite the numerous amount of criticism he receives, keeps it 100 percent. He wears what he wants, says what he wants, and does as he please. I mean, how many people do you know that would get their teeth removed and replace them with diamonds just because? A guy like Kanye, that’s who.

4.   Kanye is articulate

This one is a key heart-melter for me. Intelligent conversations with the opposite sex are few and far between. Intelligent responses in interviews among hip-hop artists are nonexistent. Despite these truths, every time I hear Kanye speak, my heart flutters a little. His diction is astounding. His syntax is remarkable. His specificity is overwhelming. The guy just speaks well. And this is a kid who dropped out of college. Would have fooled me.

5.   Kanye thinks

Now he doesn’t always think before he speaks, but Kanye sometimes says things that clearly take a lot of deep thought (this goes along with the point above). Kanye allows himself to get immersed in his thoughts and their intricacies allowing for great conversation and, at the end of the day, great music.

6.   Kanye is an artist

What girl doesn’t like an artistic guy? And I’m not talking about so-called “artists” in the music industry, I’m talking about an actual arteest. He can paint. He can draw. And he can make some damn good music.

7.   Kanye has a backbone

Not only does he speak up, but Kanye does not allow for anyone to say anything to him. He calls people out on their actions, yet still holds down the front. He does what he wants his way and will explain to anyone who asks why. He’s strong, and every strong woman wants an even stronger man.

8.   Kanye is not afraid of commitment

How many times have we heard about the various women in Kanye West’s life? From the shot out to his girlfriend who’s “a delta so she been throwing them dynasty signs” in “Through the Wire” to the engagement with Alexis Phifer to the steady relationship with Amber Rose, Kanye seems to be a one woman man. I would say this is due to the close relationship with the Moms.

9.   Kanye has a unique sense of fashion

I use unique here in a good way. Kanye is well versed about the collections of Alexander McQueen. Can Soulja Boy or Plies tell you the trends in McQueen’s 2010 spring collection? Probably not. The fact that Kanye is knowledgeable about fashion and has conjured up his own style that includes deep vees and velvet blazers makes him a winner in my book.

10. And duh Kanye is a Grammy-winning millionaire

Self-explanatory to say the least.

If this isn’t painting a clear picture for why we women want Kanye, then just go pick up My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy—that’ll explain whatever I left out. 

The Tale of Two Women



Past the times of dowries, hoop skirts, and weekly allowances from our significant other, we as women are more emotionally stable, socially involved, and physically independent—well most of us. We wear suits better than any men and these days make more money than them. We have gained a power that a woman like Eleanor Roosevelt saw a long time coming. However, despite the fact that we have attained this new freedom in our roles as dominant femmes, to what extent should we stretch the idea of the “modern woman?”

On too many instances I’ve heard females use the inaccurate example of being a “modern woman” as the reason as to why they act in the sexually suggestive way that they do. Give it up sweethearts—a hoe is still a hoe (sorry I couldn’t think of a more articulate word than this; I mean if it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck it’s a hoe). Anyway, here are five ways to tell the difference between a modern woman and a sexually eager girl (ah that’s better).

1. The Modern Woman considers sex a hobby; The Hoe considers sex a form of employment.

(Now don’t get me wrong here, a hoe considers sex to be a hobby as well, she just expects to receive monetary or material compensation for her actions, unlike the modern woman.)

2. The Modern Woman isn’t afraid to discuss her sexuality; The Hoe overtly expresses it.

3. The Modern Woman doesn’t need a boyfriend; The Hoe has never had one…just partners.

4. The Modern Woman idolizes Michelle Obama; The Hoe dresses up like Nicki Minaj.

Lastly…

5. The Modern Woman carries herself with class; The Hoe carries condoms.

Make sure you know the difference ladies!

C.R.U.S.H.

Creating reasons to linger from afar

Resisting a potentially fulfilling urge

Unnecessary secrecy between your mind and your heart

Second guessing your attraction level

Hoping for something that won’t happen unless you act

Gushing over that suave, ridiculously talented alpha male that every other girl wants to bed may seem appealing when one is experiencing bouts of acne and an identity crisis. However, when you’re old enough to know that that good looking guy probably sucks, no definitely sucks, that it’s quite foolish to secretly wish to be his wifey.

I am proud to say I adorn this ‘not-so-foolish’ sticker—usually. The other day, I found myself lingering on a certain someone’s Facebook page a little too long. He and I went to high school together. I was not the girl that sat behind him and doodled are future children’s names in math class—another facially perfect jock held that position at the time. I actually had no interest in him during the days I roamed the halls of the alcoholics, the puter-outers, and the socially awkward. Yet, there I was picturing myself on a Coldstone date with him chatting about our future. Was I crushing on this kid? No, it couldn’t be…okay I was. Is it wrong to crush though?

I’m the first person to tell anyone that if they want something they should go after it. And there I was mesmerized at the cuts in this guy’s stomach and doing nothing about it. By crushing, I’m protecting myself from making the first move, a potential let down, and worse: a bruise to the ego. However, by not clicking “Send (Like I’m going to tell you) a Message” I may be missing out on that Coldstone date.

What do you think? Is it okay for a woman to crush? Or should she step up and be a grown (expletive) woman?

Love's Symphony

Sometimes you heart beats so loud

That you can’t hear those thoughts

Those thoughts

Later categorized as

Life changing revelations

Sometimes your heart beats so loud

That blood pumping muscle

Shakes its cage loose

Loose from the confines of self protection

Out into the sea of companionship

Sometimes your heart beats so loud

You have to cover your ears

From the persuasion it spews

Those droplets of lies

That hit your face

That beat does burn

Sometimes your heart beats so loud

You urge to scream at the top of your lungs

Just to be heard

Sometimes your heart beats so loud

That the steady vibration seems to never cease

Like you’ve lost control

Sometimes your heart beats so loud

It breaks…

The Cougar in All of Us

As a female, I feel I possess a sound judgment, a maturity, and an intelligence level like no male I know my age. Having a conversation that consists of more than, “you got any kids?” or “so what you like to do for fun?” on the first date is rare. Is there someone out there who I can discuss Obama’s health care plan with? Someone who has hobbies that exclude Madden and NBA Live?  I know many ladies can agree with me on this one. Because of this, we as women so eagerly seek “the older man.” Why? Well let’s weigh the pluses…

Older men are:

o   More financially stable

o   Somewhat equal in maturity level

o   More likely to have adult interests

o   More seasoned in the dating game

I, as well as many of my girls, have dipped into the pool of “the older man” and what have we discovered? They are the chest hair-having, slightly more articulate, full-time job possessing version of themselves 5+ years ago. Thus, nothing special.

No woman usually desires a younger man unless she’s over the age of forty and has suffered a vicious divorce that has caused her to look at her son’s friends. As a young woman, I cannot say I’ve experienced this wretchedness. However, I can talk about those experiences when walking into a corner store, strolling past a footlocker, or curiously observing the new freshmen on campus that I’ve said to myself, “Ooh that little boy is cute!” Shame on me, right? Wrong! You have been a victim of it and so have I: the desire to be a cougar. And I’m not talking about the Demi Moore-Ashton Kutcher kind.

Cougar, n.

-a young woman that wants an even younger man.

Why? Well, young men naturally cling to us women who have our (expletive) together. So why not take advantage of this? After all, they’re fun, impressionable, and have a boyish charm that just melt’s your heart. Time to pounce, ladies.