What Women Want...Sort Of

If you asked a woman what kind of man she wants, she’ll most likely answer with absolute confidence her exact requirements in a man. And watch out, there’s a good chance you’ll be sitting there all day. Oddly enough, the list of traits she so desires in her ideal beau rarely ever equate to the men currently, or most recently, in her life. ‘Now why is that?’ you may ask. Well the answer is quite simple really. What we women actually want isn’t what we think we want. I know that’s kind of confusing, so let me break it down one time. Okay, maybe two times.

The guy we dream of marrying is the guy society has taught us we should seek. Brad Pitt for his never-ending devotion to Angelina and all them damn babies, before he even married her I might add. Michael Ealy and the sexy, sweet characters he always lands because he’s physically immaculate. Barack Obama for his intelligence, depth, and fulfilled ambition. We tack these men on to our desktop backgrounds, but we don’t tack these men into our lives. And I know most of you are saying, ‘Well geez, if I could find men like these, I would tack and nail that a**!’ Yes, that’s what we’d all say, but I’ve seen women turn men like these down, including myself.

We don’t want a man who’s going to get us pregnant before the ring, no matter his devotion. We don’t want a man who’s too pretty and too nice, because that obviously equates to him being a total sleaze bag who’ll eventually break our hearts. And of course we don’t take the men who are extremely intelligent and driven for he’s into himself, must date white women, and doesn’t have time for us considering all that he’s accomplishing. These are the men we think we want, but when they’re up close and personal (with much less money of course), we don’t want them to ring our bell. Sh*t, we don’t even invite them on the boat.

Instead, we fall prey to the knock-off versions of these men:
1. The man who’s fathered every other women’s children, and still thinks he can get you pregnant without a ring
2. The man who’s “aight” who still manages to be a sleaze bag despite his lack of immaculateness
3. The man with all the potential in the world with no actual concrete plan in life

We offer these men the opportunity because it’s “safe.” Obviously not ideal, but safe. You know what you’re getting with these guys because there’s a great chance you’ve gotten one if not all three before. (There are many other types of men but I felt no need to go down that list) I digress. The man who looks too good to be true, we automatically take him for that: Too good to be true to us. But that’s not necessarily the case.

I technically can’t affirm or deny this way of thinking because I’ve yet to meet the guy that’s “too good.” Maybe I have and I just assumed there’s no way a guy like that would ever give a girl like me a shot. Who knows. I do know that I think I want a Morris Chestnut/Michael Ealy mash up, but I keep getting Ray Js with much less money of course.

Is it because I’m choosing these men? Or they are the only ones available? Should we women change our list of wants, or just be more realistic about what we want?