The First Move

I pride myself on being a lady. The kind that crosses her legs when she sits, dabs the corners of her mouth when she eats, and bats her eyelashes when she meets an attractive person of the opposite sex. You know, the dated, Victorian girl. I may be a lady, but I’m still a lady of the 21^st century. Let me be specific. Men are no longer the hunting, grunting providers of the Stone Age. Guys don’t want to do all the work, and you know what, they shouldn’t have to. I know, I know. Hold on. Let me be even more specific. If you spot a guy you want, ladies, make that first move! Screw formalities and tradition. (Sorry Mom) It’s not the sixties. Men don’t “court” women anymore. We women these days are I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. And along with being independent, we must be self-sufficient. Just like you gotta go to the store and get your groceries, sometimes you got to go out and get your man.

Let me tell you how this revelation came about. This idea crept up on me the other day at work. I was sitting at my desk, cleaning out my email, when He approached. No, not God. This guy is heavenly nonetheless though. Now “he” (that’s better) is this amazingly perfect (at least physically) co-worker of mine that struts his little cute behind past my desk everyday I’m in. At first it started as small glances, but chile I got this man leaning over my desk chatting me up these past few weeks. I know right?! Whether it’s about the weather or how he’s feeling that day, Mr. Cute Behind seems to always find a reason to strut on over to my desk. Now being a lady, I reply accordingly and continue on with my work. No flirting. Strictly platonic answers. Why? I don’t know. Honestly. Maybe it’s the office setting that has me a little guarded or that he’s a slightly “older man.” (30 tops, but I’d take 25 years old for 200)

The other day, he was by my desk when I arrived. He looked at me. I scurried to the bathroom. He came back about an hour later. He said hello. Just a simple hello. I give a shy ‘hey.’ Another hour passes; he comes over and throws something in my wastebasket. (He has a wastebasket at his desk) About 30 minutes before I’m scheduled to leave, he finished out his rounds by fiddling with some papers on my desk. He glanced at me a couple times as he shuffled his papers. I continued to look at the computer screen. Then he stopped. Looked at me. I stopped. I looked at him, hoping this is the moment when he confesses his love , grabs my  hand, and we leave to celebrate over dinner at Butter. Back to reality. He said, ‘Can you believe it’s snowing today?’ I giggle to myself a little about what my mind was just concocting and, of course, respond accordingly. We chat. Our conversation abruptly ends. Someone beckons him and he leaves. This is the encounter Mr. Cute Behind and I have all the time. That day, I decided I was going to do something about it.

No longer will I be the polite, meek receptionist. No. (I’m not this girl anyway, by the way) Next time Mr. Cute Behind makes his rounds (next Wednesday) I plan to pull out all the stops. I will be dressed to boot. My hair will be combed (I’m a shake and go kind of a girl) and my lip-gloss will be popping. I will initiate conversation, and it ain’t gonna be about New York’s precipitation. Yes, that’s right. I’m going to make the first move. It’s time to get my man!

Black Herstory Month: Why Black Men are Great to Date

After 28 days of February, I’ve in no way participated in Black History month. To be honest, for the first half of the month I forgot what month it was, until of course Valentine’s day crept up. Then I started whining about not having a sexy, smart black man to call my own, and then boom. That’s when it dawned on me. It’s Black History Month. Usually I reread The Autobiography of Malcolm X, or deliberately sit in the front of the bus/train for the full 28 days, or enlighten a white person or few with some black history fun facts. However, this time around, it completely slipped my mind. I get this feeling a lot of other people didn’t take the time to celebrate the month either. So in honor of the less-than-climatic Black History Month, I’ve decided to honor black men. Yes. That’s right. For every day of this past month, I will name a reason to date a black man. Now, that’s how you celebrate. Enjoy : )

1. Black men are great at making children.

2. Black men typically have a great music collection.

3. Black men will protect their women at all costs.

4. Black men embrace the art of tattooing.

5. Black men are advocates of diversity. (In the women they date)

6. Black men have all exeperienced adversity.

7. Black men have that "swagger."

8.  Black men were raised by black women.

9. Black men appreciate curvier women.

10. Black men actually date black women.

11. Black men believe in a strong brotherhood.

12. Black men love fried chicken. (As do I)

13. Black men have a dynamic fashion sense.

14. Black men are well endowed. (It's true)

15. Black men are naturally athletic.

16. Black men have pretty eyelashes.

17. Black men are vocal.

18. Black men are steady performers. (Goes along with #14)

19. Black men are aggressive in the mating game.

20. Black men are fearless.

21. They're problem solvers. (Whatever problem you have, he'll have a solution. Not the best but a solution nonetheless)

22. Black men tend to have a close relationship with their mother. (Afterall, she raised him)

23. Black men are open to variety.

24. Black men know not to talk back. (Goes along with #8)

25. Black men can usually dance. (Goes along with #18)

26. Black men have strong opinions, and usually expresses them.

27. Black men come in all shapes and colors. (For our convenience)

28. Best of all, black men are great to date because they're black men.